I went to the Grammar from '64 to 'Jan 69 when we parted company on mutual terms. I hated them & they hated me!! Half the teachers would be locked up these days and the other lot made to sign the sex offenders list!! Clarke,music, was a thug who carried a Dunlop green flash shoe in his briefcase- no lightweight trainers in those days- and if you did'nt have a red pen to write down music notes, you got bent over the desk and got 2 or 3 for starters. Everybody knows about Piggy Porter, he "grassed' us up for larking about on the 56 bus to school,off to Mr Flood the deputy head for the cane as we got to school. I was in 1 & 2 alpha before we were'streamed' in the 3rd year and went into 3m. Had a choice between woodwork or metalwork, 8 of us chose wood work, 24 got metalwork. That other nark,Wilde,took metalwork & sports.Think of Brian Glover in 'Kes'- get off that bl**dy crossbar,Caspar,and you wont be far wrong. I remember Graham Egerton " nutmegging' him in a football game once,Wildey lashed out as Graham ran past him and straight armed him in the chest.Graham span round as if he'd been pole-axed. Even though we were playing footy, Wildey always wore rugby boots and shirt. My brother saw him in south wales once,and he was still scared of him!
The teacher with the humpty wing was Jerry Corner,Economics,who was farmed out to the small capacity classes upstairs by rooms 7.8.& 9. Maths teacher was a great bloke, Fred Lowe,believe he was from Waterworks St. Bootle.He got me really interested in the subject,I tried to dump music for maths bur Clarkey said no. Playing the recorder was really top of the employers list in Bootle in the 60's. Other maths teacher was Luler,cant remember his real name but he could'nt pronounce his R's. So when he took us for trigonometry,he'd say" get out your plotractors & lulers" we'd all fall off our chairs in bulk. The sadistic g*t lashed out one day and jabbed my brother in the cheek with a green biro. Phipps, French master and short ar*d thug, hit Kenny Blackburn on the back of the head so hard,he mashed his nose into the desk.Blood everywhere!.Our form master & English(lan) teacher came from St.George of England school,Stan -OddJob-Hall. Hard as nails but dead fair.First thing out of his bag was the dreaded Dunlop, sat on his desk all lesson. Warburton,Physics master,used to walk up and down the lab like a demented Marty Feldman from the movie" Young Frankenstein" and he carried a curved walking stick/club and he either poked you or belted you with it. Jones,other Physics was just a sadist as well. But Jack Williams, Woodwork & TechDrawing ,was great. Punishment was a blackboard try-square over the ar*e,but come xmas,he'd belt out a xmas carol over some poor sods backside & we'd have to guess what carol it was.Jack had no rhythm,beat or cadence, so it took ages to guess it.But if we did'nt like the lad getting beaten,we'd take forever!! .If that was'nt bad enough,getting to this seat of learning/torture was a nightmare from Bootle. We had to get the 56 from the Danish Bacon on Southport/Bedford road junction,if you missed that you had to leg it down to Hawthorn Rd for the 57A,miss that & it was a Linford Christie,without the lunchbox, to Stanley Road for the 28. And we all know what bus drivers/conductors were like in them days. 'Cos if you got in late, wallop!!. Two off Floody to warm your backside up for the rest of the day. The prefects DID have their short gowns,and would be at the bus stop by St Oswalds church and the school,making sure we all had our caps on and were'nt misbehaving on the streets. And of course,we never mentioned this to our parents about being punished at school,as we'd only get it again at home. But I suppose it did me know harm,sitting here in my warm cell at Ashworth!!
The best thing about being over the hill is that now I can have some fun and free-wheel down the other side. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL.